Having made the move to Melbourne, I did not expect the interruption to be so noticeable. Perhaps the interruption has been made more distinct because I am faced with many decisions and possibilities. Many related to work and income. I am torn between work and Buddhism. It is not about the money, it is about supporting myself and my son. I would like to do this without causing financial burden on my family, especially my daughter who so generously has asked us to stay and provided us with very comfortable accommodation.
The interruption itself is not a problem. I am just mindful that it may distract me. I am easily distracted. But then I think that it is all as it needs to be.
My son has a new apprenticeship and can now live independently with his sister and pay board, get to work and provide for himself. I am glad that I have been able to spend these past few years with him. We have a connection now that we would not have had. A lot earlier and deeper than the connection that I have with my father.
His independence give me some freedom to follow the pathway again. This time maybe Thailand is closer than before.
I have not meditated in weeks. Time to return. I have not spoken with a monk in weeks. Time to visit a temple. Buddhism is never far from my mind but practice has been elusive.
I have been teaching in Sydney this week. A delightful group of Chinese University students here on a study tour. Revisiting my fondness of teaching and my regard for China has lightened my heart in some respects, so the interruption has has not been stressful.
I have learned over these past few weeks that letting go is not an event. It is a process. A worthwhile process that I will continue to pursue.
